Selling Out?

Something happened today that hasn't happened to me in over a year and a half - I did not read one single online news publication while at work. I did not even scan the New York Times headlines while at work, because I did not check my personal email at work.

That's right - I was busy. All day. What a change of pace from the last 18 months!

To be fair, when I was an in-house pharmaceutical journalist (you know which company) I scanned the headlines every day as part of my job - I was looking for stories relevant to the company or the pharmaceutical industry that I might be able to use in my own line of work, which was writing and editing an internal company newsletter. I have no excuse for every other job since then except for the fact that I have not been busy - or happy - in any other job.

At least I have busy covered now. However, I still feel like I am moving farther and farther from my skill set and what I intended to do.

For instance, I haven't written a feature story since I left pharma. I wrote some lame press releases in my nonprofit life, but let's face it - my psychotic boss wasn't letting me do a lot of work, and after awhile I lost the will to try.

Now I'm not writing at all. I'm kind of sad about this. I really enjoy researching,writing, and editing a piece. I get immense satisfaction in seeing something through from start to finish. I know I said I never wanted to be a reporter, but to not be writing at all just seems a little odd. A bit disheartning. It kind of makes me wonder why I did all those unpaid internships and wrote for our crappy student newspaper. Why I worked my ass off for eight bucks an hour in Advancement Communications at EMU (OK, THAT I actually did because I loved it. I did not love making eight bucks an hour when freelancers got paid $0.50 - $1.00 per word, but I loved the work itself).

Can I really not find another writing gig or am I not looking hard enough? I suppose I could find freelance work, but I feel like I'd have to start at the beginning again - unpaid assignments for little-read publications. Do I want to spend my nights drafting promotional copy for tourist rags? Provided they even want my copy, that is.

Maybe I do. Maybe I don't. I haven't decided yet. But until I do, I guess blogging can fill the void.